• Amanda Olivo

The Holes We LIVE With

Dealing with loss and mourning

Grief comes in many forms and each situation is unique to each of us. We each may experience an array of emotions when dealing with loss, but the feelings that seem constant are how difficult a loss can be to understand, to grasp, to recover from. For me, grief and loss leaves a hole. It breaks us down and leaves us feeling less whole in some way. As women, we try to fix this hole (at least my problem-solver ways try to), we try to put the pieces of the puzzle that made us whole together again. But what if what makes us more alive is living with those holes?

I experienced three significant losses in my life over the past three years- my maternal grandparents and a beautiful young woman that left this life to soon.

I miss these people every day of my life.

I think of them daily even if for a small fleeting moment. There presence remains holes in my heart that I realize can't be filled, nor can I live without them. These holes represent people I loved deeply and cared for tremendously. My holes will never be filled and I don't want them to. They are my reminders to keep living. Not just to live...but LIVE. Enjoy the small and big moments, smile more, wear killer lipstick, eat dinner with loved ones, sing with a booming voice, dance, and love....and do them fiercely.

These moments of grief are difficult for all of us. Our natural reaction to those that are in pain and grieving might be to give them space and not reach out after some time, to assume that more healing has taken place. However, I invite you to check in with those that are dealing with a loss...and keep checking in. Call, text, message on social media, send a card. It might go unanswered at first, some need the space...but don't stop trying. Let us embrace our feelings, emotions, and each other in our vulnerabilities. I hope you realize you aren't alone and that whatever you need don't hesitate to reach out for. Let us be those open hands to guide you and catch you and help you LIVE with the holes that make you.

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